You don't have to KNOW the song, but can you PLAY the song?

Our first post! From a fabulously talented singer and musician who I had the pleasure of riding the bus to Kindergarten with... We've lost her to the island across the pond, but thank God for the internet so she can still be a part of this project!

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I worked in a function band for 12 months for my sins. I always thought of it as jedi training for when I'd have to step up and fight the Emperor...

Playing songs like 9 to 5 and Walking on Sunshine isn't bad - it just is what it is. Your job is to sing, dance, and act like you've never been quite so happy for two strangers that you've never met before. Good times :) We'd often get asked to play requests... as long as one single member of the band knew the tune, everyone else would just wing it and we'd hope for the best. If no one knew the tune, we'd politely decline.

But one night a drunken punter stumbled up and asked us to play 'I Wanna Be Like You' from the Jungle Book. I did I quick whip round the band and no one knew it all the way through so I went back and here's how the rest of the conversation went:

Me: I'm sorry, no one in the band knows that song so we won't be able to play it.

Her: Oh that's ok if you don't know it. You don't have to know it - but can you play it?

Me: No, I'm really sorry, we can't play it because nobody in the band knows that song.

Her: *HUGE SUGH* Yeah, I understand, but you don't have to KNOW it - just PLAY it...

Me: Look, we really don't know that song - I don't know the words, the keyboard player doesn't know the notes, the guitar player doesn't know the chords... Nobody knows that song. In order to play a song, we need to KNOW a song. So we won't be able to play it...

Then she trounced off back to her friends where they whispered and pointed at us for awhile.

And that gig paid half as much as a gig I'm working on this week - I have to sing six words for a TV commercial. SIX WORDS are apparently worth twice as much as jumping around for three hours, singing cheesy covers tunes and haggling with piss-heads about Disney classics.

That's what it's like to be a working musician - you never know what's gonna happen next.

10 min opera aria... in French? Sure, no problem! Would you like fries with that?

My name is Caitlin. I am an opera singer, a mezzo-soprano with a Bachelor of Music degree from Northwestern University (opera and a musical theater certificate) and a Master of Music from Roosevelt University. Needless to say, I know a crap load about opera, art songs, chamber music and musical history. I may not be Maria Callas (yet... well, and I'm not a soprano, so I guess that would be difficult no matter what), but I've learned to sing better than most people you'll see at Tuesday night Karaoke. I have been paid to sing, but this past couple of weeks I was paid to do something else. (Here's a hint: I still used my voice... alot.)

Any guesses??? Ok, ok... I'll tell you.

Telemarketing.


Yes, with two expensive higher education degrees and a fancy operatic resume, I've found myself using all my learned stage charm and vocal lilt to convince these unsuspecting recipients of my calls to sign up for an exposition being held at a huge convention center in Chicago. One where they generally play pop music and "Musak" before Mozart.

And this is just one of many funny jobs I've held that are completely (or distantly) related to my operatic training. And that's why I've started this "blog", to examine the "Artistic Dichotomy" of the double lives of "starving artists"... One night being exalted for your great talent, be it a painting, a composition, a rockin' concert at the best venue in the city, being applauded by the masses... The next morning you're the one serving Starbucks to those same people.

Please share your stories, the funny jobs you've held in the service industry and the interactions you have with the public, possibly comparing it to the interactions you have while playing the role of "artist". Pass this call on. All stories will be posted and they may remain anonymous or bear your name.

Send all stories to artisticdichotomy@gmail.com